Monday, February 25, 2013

21 Reasons (and counting) Why Stinkbugs are Worse than Spiders

So everyone knows my loathing for the spiders that come along with my house (read about it here and here), but I think they've officially been ousted as the worst pest. Here's why stinkbugs are definitely worse that spiders.


1. I've never found a spider in my bed. I've found over 50 stinkbugs in here. Ironically, as I'm getting ready to write this post I felt something crawling up my thigh. Sure enough, stinkbug UNDER THE COVERS on my leg. I hate these things.

2. The spiders come for about 3 weeks in the fall and then go. The stinkbugs have yet to leave after years.

3. Spiders don't fly. Especially kamikaze style at your head while you're in the shower or on the toilet or just trying to walk down the hallway.

4. The bookcases are not home to hundreds of spiders and I don't have to worry about them falling out of any book I take off the bookcase. (I take that back. There was that one incident in the bathroom that involved a spider and a book and a very unfortunate landing of afore mentioned spider on a very delicate body part. That was pretty bad….)

5. I've never had a spider in my hair.

6. Spiders don't leave their body parts all over the house. Each week I vacuum up hundreds of wings, thoraxs and legs that have scattered into every crack and crevice in my house.

7. Stinkbugs stink. Really they do.

8. I've never found a spider in my babies diaper. (Don't freakout, she didn't eat it. I'm pretty sure it was in the middle of the late night diaper change but it sure disgusted me in the morning!)

9. Spiders don't try to winter over in my guest bedrooms linens. Shook the towels before John's bosses came to visit one time and found 16 of the suckers. That would make a good impression.

10. I haven't found a spider in my jackets, hanging shirts, or closets yet.

11. Spiders stick to the downstairs, where I can leave at night and not deal with them. Stinkbugs stick to the top levels, where I have to deal with them constantly.

12. I haven't found a spider in my nightly glass of water next to my bed.

13. Spiders don't congregate in double digits behind pictures on walls.

14. Spiders don't bleed every color of the rainbow. Blue, green, red, pink, yellow, purple, brown- I've seen all these colors and more come out of the stinkbugs, depending on what part you hit when you smash it. My walls are permanently stained.

15. Spiders aren't attracted to my laptop lights when I'm laying in my bed in the dark at night.

16. I've never found a spider on my toothbrush. Enough said.

17. Spiders don't make awful sounds circling the lights like there are 100 wasps in your room somewhere.

18. I don't spend 20 minutes every night catching spiders (except for those 3 weeks) and putting them in the toilet so I can morbidly watch them drown. (Although this is somewhat similar to my piles of dead spiders on the kitchen floor. What can I say, it gives me immense pleasure to count the corpses, even if I'm not actually making headway on them….)

19.  The spiders don't reappear  in droves every semi-warm day we have, leaving me dreading the spring and what might come out of the walls with it.

20. Spiders don't have antennas that wiggle and vibrate when you're about to kill them. It's like the stinkbugs are sending a message to the mothership and it freaks me out each time I get close enough that they realize I'm coming for them.

21. Did I mention they stink??

To put it mildly, I hate them. If anyone else can relate, please share your worse stinkbug tales with me so I won't feel so alone over here. Actually, I wish I was alone. It's not very reassuring to realize there must be hundreds of those little nasties within 10 feet of me. And now I'm shutting the lid to my laptop so they'll get out of my bed. Good night….


  1. That's crazy!! And oh-so creepy. We see them every once in a while around here, but that's it. Thanks for giving me a reason to be afraid to live here. And to think that I was so happy to be leaving Cali because of the ants . . .

  2. yuck. Im pretty sure we dont have them here thank goodness. Just biiiig spiders!

  3. Hi.
    Why don't you have a sports bottle beside the bed for you to keep your water in? I have had a spider in my water! Not nice.

    We don't have stink bugs in England but I'm sure I'll hate them as much as I do spiders!. Teach the cat to catch them...hours of fun?

    B (his wife)

  4. I got chills just reading this post! Gross!! I've had 2 in my bedroom that have gotten stuck between the window and blinds and that has been too much for me!