I knew the day was destined to fail, but I tried it anyway. We're leaving to go to Florida on Friday and I have no clothes so I packed up 3 kids and went to town shopping. Shopping for clothes = never successful for me. Why, why, why did I think that all the kids would help with that in any way?
So we get through the trip to the gym, the kids are snacked out on cookies and we head to Kohl's.
Everything starts off great. I'm loading the shopping cart with potentials as we make our way to the bathrooms. Change a stinky baby - check. Potty the two others - check. We make our way to the dressing rooms after running through 3 more aisles and me grabbing over 30 shirts, jeans and one pair of flip flops that look decent. By now Lias is really fussy but he'll be happy once I let him down to play in the big handicapped dressing room that holds me, a honking huge double stroller, 30 pairs of clothes and 3 kids, right? No. He wants to nurse now and Ava has to use the bathroom AGAIN - number 2. Too bad kid. Hold it. I rip clothes on and off, leaving them on just long enough for Nathan to tell me that he doesn't like any of them. I finally keep one shirt and grab Lias, who's screaming now that Nathans pulled the stroller away and made him fall.
We head to the bathroom, feed the baby, potty the preschooler AGAIN and everything calms down enough that I'm tempted to just glance at the kids section. 20 minutes later, the kids are done tearing the toy aisle apart, I've got more clothes for them then I could ever find for me, and the baby is stinky AGAIN. Its also 45 minutes past lunch and I haven't fed anybody anything but cookies. We quickly pay for the junk, head to the car and try to load up.
You'd think since we load into the car at least 20 times a week we'd be pretty good at this but no. Here's where it all really starts to break down. Ava and Nathan are told repeatedly to get into the van and in their seats. Ava listens. Nathan does not. I'm trying to change a very stinky diaper doubled with a nasty diaper rash from out of the blue and juggle a adventurous 2 yr old that thinks he wants to start the car. Lias is laid out on the seat with the seatbelt digging into his head, arching his very messy bum while Nathan is stepping on the very messy diaper and I can't even yell like I want because the door is open and everyone will hear me. I finally get the diaper on the screaming baby and get Nathan off the dirty diaper and back towards his seat. I wrestle the unused wipe I needed 2 seconds ago that glued itself to the the velcro diaper tabs on the dirty diaper, wrap up the diaper and jump into the car to Nathan's screaming. His all out ear piercing, mind numbing, I'm-losing-my-brain, scream and then it happened.
I reached out, grabbed his hair and pulled for all it was worth. And told him to STOP SCREAMING NOW!!! Not my finest parenting moment, that's for sure. Right after I did it I felt horrible but amazingly, he actually stopped screaming. We all took a few deep breaths and then he said in a little voice, "Mama, you no hurt me like that." I tried to reason my way through the whole situation but ended up at "You're right Nathan, it was very naughty for Mama to pull your hair." Way to go Mama, way to go. I just thought I'd document the whole situation so I can really remember how it was when I'm old and senile and think everything was all rosy all the time. Please tell me I'm not the only one who looses it occasionally like this?