Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sharpening...and bawling

Tonight after Ava went to bed I packed up all her new school stuff. I carefully labeled each new, shiny marker with her name. Then I labeled each fat glue stick, her 3 ring binder and her sharp new purple scissors. I even labeled her Kleenex box and her "special spray" aka disinfecting hand wash. Earlier today we made her a fancy Pringles can - the schools way of communicating with home - deco poged with all her friends and our families pictures, just so she won't forget us. I packed it all inside her stiff new purple book bag, then opened the front pocket and realized her pencils weren't sharpened. So I sharpened each one carefully and put them back into the little holder that she thought was so cool.

And then I started bawling.

And I haven't stopped. I know this is normal, but I still don't think I'm quite ready for her to be gone all day, every day. The other day, just to make me feel better I went through and marked each day she has off from school. It helped, but just a little. Tonight, John gave her a father's blessing for the start of the school year and the whole time I was thinking, "She doesn't need the blessing, I do!" She's crazy excited and I know she'll do fine but somehow I just feel like her childhood is over. And I didn't get to do all the things I wanted to do with her during it.

So tomorrow she'll get on the school bus and leave me and two very sad little boys. I hope we all stop crying by the time she gets home so we can listen to all the fun she had.


  1. I didn't cry, but boy it was exhausting for me! The first week is behind us.
    Tonight Hailey asked if she had school tomorrow. I told her yes. She asked when would she no longer have school! Poor kid likes school, but not yet adjusted to an every day school. At least I drive mine (4 min.) and I don't have to put her on a bus! That would be hard for me too!

  2. I am sad every year when my kids go back to school. It is like part of me is leaving.

  3. oh now Im crying. It gets easier and trust me , in a few yrs you will be glad when they get on the bus... maybe even next month!!! BUt yeah, it's hard cause you feel that tie of just you being their teacher becoming lots more ties with lots of other people. And its scary. But ya have to let em go.... that or homeschool and go freaking insane!

  4. and what about some photos of the kids soon please???

  5. i don't know what i'm gonna do on that day. suede was wearing a backpack the other day and craig called me telling me how upset he is going to be when she goes to school. she's only 2!

  6. Somehow the kids starting school didn't make me cry. I was the one comforting the other crying moms as they dropped them off...but starting college? That's another story!(but usually not when they can see). I always remind myself how exciting for them to cross these bridges and I try to put that kind of face on! Lynnie, I love your blog and learning of your family. It was a delight to be your Merrie Miss leader all those years ago(you were amazing) and a blessing to get a sense of you now!